Authors Note: When we did our stream of consciousness I thought of a percepitationless world with no rain. I usually like the rain and thought that what if there was never rain again? I thought how would all the people with umbrellas and rain coats feel if there was no more rain? When I was littler I would always want to take my rain coat off and just run and play in the rain.
Standing on a street corner, in a cold rain. I see people with umbrellas and wonder why not enjoy the rain while you have it? I think to myself, what if it never rains again? What will the fools hiding themselves from the rain think when they thirst for the wet cool feeling of rain on a hot summer day? As I walk through the street I feel that someone, somewhere is feeling the same thing as me. I take the rain coat that I have on and offer it to someone. They take it gratefully and wonder why I don't want it when it is raining outside. I feel almost as an outcast as I make the journey home. People look at me with an inquisitive look. I look back them the same way.
First off, I would like to welcome you to the class. This is a good first post and stream of consciousness. There were only two things that I would check. First off, you may want to proof read again because I found some grammatical errors that could easily be fixed. Also, you should probably give this some form. You should take this and turn it into a poem, short story, etc. Anyways, nice first post and keep posting on your blog.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Ryan that this is very good start to things, but it does have it's down side(a couple grammatical errors). You also really should put it into some type of form, which ever you choose. It is just kind of raw the way it is right now.
ReplyDeleteI do agree with the comments above, but I thought that it was really descriptive and that made it really interesting to read. Nice job just fix up the loose ends.
ReplyDeleteTyler,
ReplyDeleteThis is a cool piece, because usually journal entries sound like yours when you think it in your head, but not when you write it, so yours is like a journal entry within a journal entry. Like everyone else said, this would be even cooler if it was in some type of form, and there are a few grammatical errors, but nice job!
This is really well written. I really like how you ended it, the last two lines are like the perfect closing sentences. I love this idea about what if it never rained again. Very neat. Great job.
ReplyDelete